Joke jokes
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... Yeah.
(Not Original Joke)
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy.
Yes, this joke is stolen.
What’s a Cannibal’s Favorite Food?
Ra-men.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
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