Joke jokes
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?
A jump rope!
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"