Joke jokes
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay man's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...