Joke jokes
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂