Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
Joke Jokes
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
