Joke jokes
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Stop doing these orphan jokes, please, Rob.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?