Joke jokes
Who disliked the rooster joke, come out now!
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Um, please do not swear, there is no need. Could you maybe just find clean jokes?
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"