Joke jokes
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Who disliked the rooster joke, come out now!
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Um, please do not swear, there is no need. Could you maybe just find clean jokes?