Joke jokes
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What’s the difference between Batman and the Black Panther?
Batman returns.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.