Joke

Joke jokes

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: Impatient feminist.

Friend: Impati--

Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?

What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

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  • You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.

    My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

    Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!

    Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.

    What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D