Joke jokes
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
What did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud!"
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!
Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.