Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!
MMM ppl just chat random things together.... JUST WRITE JOKES YA'LL!
Wow, no SP jokes?
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
Stop orphan jokes!
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."