Joke

Joke Jokes

Duck

Why was the duck fired from the train station?

He was a bad conducktor!

Orphan

Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!

Ppl

MMM ppl just chat random things together.... JUST WRITE JOKES YA'LL!

Pedophile

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

Apple

What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

They're both hanging from a tree.

Pilot

What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"

Chef

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

Lie

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

Grandpa

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

People

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

Fluff

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.

Feminist

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: Impatient feminist.

Friend: Impati--

Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?

Orphan

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."