What's black on top and white on the bottom?
rape.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?
Because it can't find the home button...
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.