Joke jokes
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.