Joke jokes
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the spoon."
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!