The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Joke Jokes
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.