I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hayfever.
My sister lost two things today 1: Her virginity 2: Her job at the zoo
Looks like URL encoding is enabled for special characters inside comments, good job to whoever developed this website.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Blonde starts new job at local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.... The gentleman has a good look round before saying to the blonde 'it looks perfect....But Cargo space?' To which she instantly replied 'Oh I'm Sorry sir, Car only for road.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings to words. "Sally, can you tell me what beautiful means?" Sally: "You.." Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what malicious means?" Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus." Teacher: "Great job Andrew! Now, what does fat mean? Johnny?" Johnny: "A pig." Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini-" Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me."
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets! UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!! Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE! Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematoriom you're doing "a good job" do it at home and your "destroying evidence." Error sans: every time you make a typo, the errorists win..
What job lets you kill the most people
And abortion doctor
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A skeleton had a job interview but he looked messy
I had to fix his COLLARbone
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any- let's just say I list my job as a bud driver
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ENDS MEET
Today; Worst day ever
My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔) : You got the job and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona you just don't got enough confidents, you got to have it confidents in life. I know you will get the job I do now just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞) : UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen your the best!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I have a great job for you but you have to start it off... knock knock... Who's there? I don't know?!?!
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating !
I saw a trophy in my sister room. So I said congratulations for your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I ask why. My sister said I won because I give the best best jobs.
