Job jokes

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Bob the builder.

Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?

A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.

I work at a tire shop.

I'm pretty tired.

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.

Am I a guard or a guava?

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

How come orphans know how to do laundry?

Cause that's usually the mom's job.

What is a gay man's favorite job?

A blowjob.

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Interviewee: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...

Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?