Job jokes
What do you call an Indian gravedigger?
Digdeep.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
Me when the underpaid cinema worker says he doesn't want to clean up this mess
I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.