Job jokes

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!

I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

He's homeless.

Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...

The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

Q: Why did the chef get fired?

A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.

I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.

Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?

Sorry, still working on it!

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.

His boss told him: "You suck."

And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.

His boss told him: "You suck for life!"

XD

"Dick, you're fired."

"I'd buy that for a dollar."

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.