Job jokes
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
Are you fin-ished with your work?
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.