Job

Job Jokes

Can

Have you heard about my new can crushing job?

It's soda-pressing.

Animal

I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.

Dick

My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

Dick

Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.

Career

Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.

Water

Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

Degree

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

Trophy

I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.

Balance

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

Dad

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Calendar

I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!