Job jokes

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.

Man, I love working in the orphanage.

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

Why can’t orphans work at AC Johnson’s?

Because it’s a family company.

Bob the builder.

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.

Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.

She handed her an application through the mirror.

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.

I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.

Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?

They di2s drying plans.

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.

John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?

Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

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