it's jokes

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!

There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.

For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.

I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.

I went for a walk today, and I did a good job of telling what time it was.

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

What time is it when you say "bad day?"

Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it's tear-able!

My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it's POINTLESS.

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

It's snot fair!

What did the expired butter do once it had expired?

It did an expire.

Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."

Gym Teacher: "That's alright."

Other Kid: "Hush!"