it's jokes

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.

My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol

Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.

What did the frog do when his car broke down?

It was toad.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: It just felt like it.

Why do orphans love tennis?

Because it is the only place they can get love.

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up.

If you get it, you get it.

Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.

My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.

Ha Ha Ha

I thought it was funny.

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

A woman goes to buy a parrot.

There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.

She asks why the last one is so cheap.

The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."

The lady buys it anyway.

When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"

When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"

When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"

Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!