it's jokes
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
...maybee
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
I watched a movie about bones. It was spine-tingling!
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
I was about to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was too plane.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.