it's jokes
What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Orphans are humans like everyone else, so suck it up, rude jerks!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
My name says it all.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.