it's jokes

What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?

"It's pasture bed time."

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

My uncle can't walk straight. I think it's because he's gay.

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

Want to hear a joke about prostitution?

Never mind, it's whoreable :)

Have you seen the new movie Constipation?

You haven't?

That's because it hasn't come out yet.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?

The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.

What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.

I made a website for an orphanage. For some reason, it doesn't have a home page.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.

A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".