it's jokes
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
Life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a blender.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.
The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.
The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.
In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
What is not the definition of prostitution?
A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.