it's jokes

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.

"Joe momma" is called that because it means "you're a mistake."

Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?

They both couldn't make it all the way.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an AirPod Pro, she turned it into an iPad!

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.

Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.

Someone bullied a disabled person.

The disabled person said they can't stand it.

Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.

The sir: My children will be devastated.

Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.

The sir: Whatever it takes.

*Suppressed gunshots*

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.

I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it has many problems.

Sad news, my obese parrot died today.

Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.