it's jokes
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
What time is it?
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil? That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb? IT JUST DOES!!!!
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
We can't go under it...
We can't go over it...
We have to go through it!
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!