it's jokes

What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?

Nothing, it was feeling blue.

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

Yo momma so fat, I took a picture of her 1 year ago, and it's still printing.

Gumball: What's that? Is it a twig?

Banana Joe: No.

Darwin: Is it a leaf?

Banana Joe: No.

Gumball: What is it then?

Banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!

What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.

I said, "No, they don't have double doors."

Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?

It was the bomb.

This page is for fat jokes, right? Well, I am breaking the mold! Yo Mama so fat! That's not a Joke it's True.

P.S. If your mom is actually fat, then I am sorry that I don't care.

My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."

I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."

A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.

When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"

My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"

The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.

The kid asked him again and so on.

Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"

I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?

Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!

Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?

Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!

Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?

Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...

TWO HOURS LATER

Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!

AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER