it's jokes
What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
The Philthydelphia Eagles.
That's it. That's the joke.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
"Come on, take the camera!"
"Isn't it clear?"
"Well, look!"
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.