it's jokes
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.