it's jokes
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
It's ice to see you.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
What did the shark say when it ate the clownfish?
It tasted funny!
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...
...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.