it's jokes

Gender

    • Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

    Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

    That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )

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    • Emo

    • You wanna hear a joke?

    Two Emos hanging out under a tree.

    How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!

    Pirate

    • Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

    “And yer hand?” asks Marty.

    “When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

    “OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

    “I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

    “But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

    “True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

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    • it's memes

    Threesome

    • I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

    It was wrong on so many levels.

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    • Cop

    • How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, they all beat the room for being black.

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    • Fish

    • Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."

    Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."

    Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"

    Ex-girlfriend: "20!"

    Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."

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    • Suicide

    • A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

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