it's jokes
Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
It's still called a "cow."
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday...
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.
Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏
Comedian: WTF bros!
Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
It's a tower.
No, it's a plane.
Me: Nope, it's 9/11.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.