it's jokes
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
Because it has no home button.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Why did the orphan have an iPhone X? Because it didn't have the home button.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)
If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁