it's jokes

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Because it has a silent “p.”

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

What did the math acorn say when it grew up?

"Gee-I'm-a-tree."

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

Why is it always cold in the hospital?

To keep the vegetables fresh.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

Why can't you run through a campground?

Because it's "past tents!"

Quote of the day:

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.

Chao!!!

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?

A: Because it has no home button.

This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.