it's jokes
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?
Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.