it's jokes
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"Drop it like it's HOT!"
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War