it's jokes
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it’s a family company.
Guys, please stop making fake accounts of me. It's not funny, and it's disrespectful of you, ok, bitch?
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
My little sister that is 10 is so ugly her hairline can't even be found by Dora the Explorer.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
Three men are working on a building site.
Every day, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.
The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.
"By god," the man exclaims, "I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and every day, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself."
The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.
"Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Every day, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself."
The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.
"I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself."
The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.
The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.
At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.
"If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches," says the first man’s wife, "I always thought he was being ironic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches," says the second man’s wife, "I always thought he was being sarcastic!"
"And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches," says the third man’s wife, "but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!"
It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.
This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.