it's jokes

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?

It becomes a flee market.

How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?

They boil the hell out of it.

I have a really good joke.

Do you want to hear it?

Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

It's a RUF life in Africa.

What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?

"Want to see if it fits?"

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...

Carrots?

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.

Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.