it's jokes
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
Boom, it went.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.