it's jokes

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!

The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.

Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."

The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."

What is, tyyyyyy a tree is it is the difference between a?

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!

Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?

A: He doesn't have the guts for it.

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.

Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?

It has no family.

I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

Are you interested in it?

More than two boot branches.

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!

Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!

Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!

Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?

Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?

Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.

Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!

Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!

Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!

Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!

Gwen: He does, you're not listening.

Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!