it's jokes

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?

One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

How are Black people like communism?

Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.

It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.

I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.

Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

It gets toad.