it's jokes
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.