it's jokes
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.