it's jokes

Mom

    • My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

  • 1

    • Bee

    • God creating bees.

    God: "Put a needle on their butt."

    Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"

    God: "Make its puke delicious."

    Angel: "WTF"

  • 2
    • it's memes

    Redneck

    • A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

    The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

    After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

    The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

  • 2

    • Incest

    • So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

    When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

    "Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

    Then it clicked.

    "Ah, so that's how you died."

  • 0

    • Blonde

    • A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

    She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

    She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."

    The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

    The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

  • 6

    • Mother

    • My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

  • 0