it's jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."