it's jokes

Pokemon

6 views ·

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

Fire

8 views ·

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

Suicide

280 views ·

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”

Cancer

33 views ·

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

Clock

8 views ·

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Tom

My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

So I said, "But which one?"

Knife

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

Turkey

14 views ·

Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.

Sex

406 views ·

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

Drug Dealer

821 views ·

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

  • 6
  • Dad

    What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

    Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?

    Cat

    15 views ·

    I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

  • 0