it's jokes
Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
Son: Daddy?
Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.
Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?
Dad: Wtf are you talking about?
Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?
Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc
Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.
Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz
Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em
Mom: What the fugde is going on?
Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.
Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?
Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.
Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.
Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??
Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!
Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.
Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!
Son: Huh
Son: Mom FUCK U*
Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off
Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH
Son: Moms are the worst, are they?
Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.