it's jokes
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Wanna hear a joke? It's called me :|
Wanna hear a paper joke? You know what, probably not because it’s TEAR-able! :/
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."