it's jokes
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
Sleep, but make it forever.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don’t have it! 🤣
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"