it's jokes

How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?

Push?! He fell...

When did Michael say, "This is it"?

2009.

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

Why did Catholic women stop going to church?

Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.

What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.

Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.