it's jokes
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.