it's jokes
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.