it's jokes

Kidnapping

32 views ·

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

Wife

1 view ·

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Mom

2 views ·

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓

Everything

52 views ·

Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)

That's it, it wasn't a joke.

Girl

8 views ·

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

Cookie

3 views ·

Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

Lightbulb

41 views ·

How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, she was electrocuted.

Fat

4 views ·

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”