it's jokes

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?

It has better reactions than the Twin Towers.

Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?

A: At least one does something when it is triggered.

Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!

Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

I just want to say this...

You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)

Why is it okay to bully an orphan?

It’s not like they could tell their parents.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

I made a website about orphans.

Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.

One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.

In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"

The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."

In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"

The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."

In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"

The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."

Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"

It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.

Why do mountains never rest?

Because it’s ever-est.