IT jokes
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
I have had it up to here with you.
(Then there Hight.)
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
Because it’s pointless.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
As the Navy SEALs burst into Osama Bin Laden's room in his Pakistani compound, his last dying words forever rang in the ears of the SEALs...
"It was just a prank bro."
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and on their land.